An Honest Creature

Hi to you, my new community.

I cannot tell you how honored and grateful that I am to find you here. Thank you so much for showing up.

The title for this project, Creativity in the Time of Capitalism, first came to me as I began processing the piles of books I was reading last spring about the origins of capitalism. At the time, I wanted to understand the forces at play that had encouraged the unsustainable growth of my creative enterprise. But more than that, I wanted to uncover why growth had seemed like an inevitable outcome, especially when growth only brought about the depersonalization of such deeply personal work. 

I wanted to contextualize that beloved source—creativity—squarely in the complex tapestry of the capitalist system that we find ourselves in today. It is a system that relies on constant productivity, and, its twin flame, constant consumption. It is the promise that satisfaction is always a purchase or a benchmark away, and as such, always, maddeningly,  anywhere but here. 

This inaugural essay that I have selected to share is something that I wrote this past Spring. These words were my first indication that I might be getting ready to launch this project and face the gaze of others again. It is a dubious ode to burnout, and those first trepidatious steps toward healing, and, I think, a good place for us to start. The style is a bit different than most of my writing, and I think that’s kind of fun (and it is very important to me that this project is prone to playfulness and experimentation with permission to evolve). 

In general, these first essays that I plan to share will illustrate the experiences of burnout and healing that have been central to my existence since 2023. From there, I promise we will head into some lighter territory. You can also expect in this coming month an interview and a roundup of fuel for your creative existence.

I would truly love to hear from you about your own experiences navigating a creative life in this climate that demands so much. I hope that the dialogue we start will inform future interviews and essays and help to shape the direction of this project in exciting and unexpected ways.

Before we dive in, I want to give a huge thank you to my Copy Editor, Kelly DeWitt Norman, for believing in this project. That belief and her keen eye are what ultimately provided me with the tools, encouragement, and confidence to share this platform with all of you. I also want to thank my husband, Justin David Cox, for being an extraordinarily loving partner, one who has insisted that I have the right to heal at my own pace, and has provided me with the space to do so.

With my warmest thanks again to you for being here and without further ado, here is the inaugural essay of CITTOC.